I'm on a couch in the middle of what looks like a Washington Square-sized coffee shop. My favorite professor, Dr. H-K, is leading a class behind me. I've got a story to tell him, but one of his students needs my seat. I move to another couch and sit next to Danny Glover. He'll have to do for now. I tell him the story instead:

I was walking in the mountains when someone stole my pickup truck and began to chase me. Before the bad guy could run me over, a woman in a Chinese bodega-TCBY combo shot a poison dart up through her ceiling, hitting the thief in the ass and saving my life.

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