Convenient store

My parents have re-purchased the old convenience store they used to own. Except now it's in a much cuter location in the much more happenin' downtown Saltillo, where trendy storefronts have popped up among the tidily landscaped sidewalks.

I arrive at the store with my camera for the handoff from previous owners to my parents. I take the opportunity to explore the inside of the store, which apparently is attached to my old elementary school (Saltillo Elementary), which ceased being a school when I was in first grade. I go through a door and it leads into the auditorium of the school, where there are dozens of books laid out on a tarp on the floor. It's dark and I don't know where the light switches are.

I wonder to myself if my parents will be able to hack it this time around. Having that store the first time was rough on their finances and their sanity. But part of me is sort of comforted by the idea of working at my family's convenience store, and I briefly get excited about putting together their website and social media presence.

Agustus Gloop

I'm back in school at what I guess is the local university since I know I'm still in town. At the beginning, I sat in a lecture that was pretty nondescript although the seating was much like an arena rather than a regular classroom. Those lovely desks with the desk part you have to swing up after you sit down were arranged in a circle around a dais.

After that, I walk with a few people who are talking about classes they have and when they're going to exercise. At this point, I realize I'm wearing clothes for cooler weather to disguise how fat I'm getting.

I also realize I don't know my way around this university and the people I've been tagging along with are annoyed I'm there. I drop back as they walk away and wonder to myself how I'm going to get through this year.

Later, I see one of the members of that group I had walked with running in a race through an area with which I'm familiar. I think to myself that I could easily go run out there and not feel so fat any more. Happily, I go to the lecture hall.

At first I sit one desk away from a chick who immediately rolls her eyes and says "oh great ..."

"Fine," I say and move one row back. As I'm sitting there, I unwrap chocolates I have brought with me and eat them. Every time I unwrap one, people nearby turn and throw annoyed looks at me.

The chocolates are soft and I'm licking my fingers in between eating them as I scribble a few notes and generally don't pay attention to the lecture. After a few chocolates, I'm keenly aware of just how fat I am and how much people around me hate me.

California dreamin'

I have walked into some kind of unconventional classroom headed by Hugo Schwyzer. He seems annoyed that I have walked in late. And annoyed, perhaps, because he's never seen me before and suddenly I'm in his class.

They're all doing elaborate and painful-looking yoga poses. I don't join in, but instead gaze out the huge picture window into the California sunset, dipping into the massive Pacific.

I go outside and it's dark. I can hear the ocean, and even feel its presence, but it's so dark that I can't see it. I walk down the beach toward it, fearing the moment that I feel it overtake me. I know deep down that once I'm in, I can't get back out. I retreat to the beach, and then realize that it doesn't matter how far I retreat; the tide is climbing and the water will greet me anyway.

Not ready

It's morning. I'm in my old bedroom (the one my brother now inhabits) and it's time to get ready for school. I feel awful. Unprepared. Nothing to wear. I look bad. I don't want to leave.

I can hear my family out in the hall, going about their morning routine. My grandmother is there, asking my dad when he got those new shoes.

I keep walking to the window and thinking, Wow, I sure do have a view now. The view is like that from a high-rise instead of a modest split-level. I can see plots of land far below me, and many houses under construction. It's like I'm watching Sim City 4 — Real Life — from the God view. I keep returning to the window to watch, instead of rifling through the closets to look for something to wear to school. I don't bother because none of my clothes are in there anyway.