I'm trying to become a member of the Covenant, but it's hindered by the fact that I keep having butt sex with men.
My parents travel the rocky mountain ranges of the Covenant in hopes of talking some Christian sense into me.
"Don't you realize that we've paid for you to become a nun?" Mom admonishes me. 'All that college education down the crapper.'
My Dad's none too pleased, either: 'Why do you have to constantly go around f-cking people up the ass?'
I'm also constantly getting stoned at the Covenant, which pisses off the fellow nuns because I raid their food cabinets every time I feel the munchies.
"I thought you were supposed to be cooking pizza for the Covenant," a portly nun says.
"I did cook pizza," I respond, "I just ate all of it.'