My peers must now ride the A-Train, because I found myself almost naked and wedged between a saucy black woman and a bum on the line back to Harlem. It was one of those dreams.
I had draped my nether-regions in a snazzy fleece jacket, looking very much like a sumo wrestler. I figured being almost naked, I sure as hell didn't want any onlookers eyeing my chitty-chitty-bang-bang. I cupped my man tits, though.
"Child, you best be looking at yourself," the saucy black woman told me.
Meanwhile, the bum gave me a towel.
"Use this to cover your junk," he advised.
For the rest of the train ride, I pretended that I had just returned from Rockaway Beach, towel tucked across my pubes (even though it was freezing balls outside).
No one will never know the difference, I thought to myself. They will think that I have a time share in the Hamptons.