Dream Blupdate

After being without 'net service for a while, I'm just putting all the dreams I recorded into one post.

DREAM, 1/5/07

I pass by a vending machine and notice that in a little plastic bubble there sits a kitty that looks a lot like Sabian. I fall to my knees and examine the little bubble, and ask a passerby, "How did he get in there?!" The passerby replies, "He's for sale." I think to myself that I don't need another kitty, but I can't bring myself to leave the poor thing concealed in a vending machine. I ask how much he is, and someone replies "Nine dollars." I have nine dollars, but someone hands me nine dollars. I take the kitty home and notice he has a hurt back leg.

I am throwing a Halloween party, and am picking through Halloween merchandise at some big box store. Everything seems to be on clearance and mixed with the Christmas items.

I encounter a guy in the musical instruments aisle who has a cart full of wrinkled clothing. He is eying the flute on the shelf. "Is that a flute?" He asks. "Yeah," I answer. He takes it down and plays a sweet little melody. He puts it back and begins to push his cart out of the aisle. There is a silver trumpet perched haphazardly atop the clothing. "Oh, you play trumpet?" I ask. "Yes," he answers, bored.

My Regional Manager Matt Custer has a new girlfriend, and only Lori and I know. We have to develop a code to discuss it. Matt wanders in, glowing, and says that she wore the lipstick she had on when they first made out. He sits on the bed and instructs me in the new language code. "Say, 'Matt, we need a LOT of cancellation forms!'"

I get all the way to my apartment parking lot in my car when Matt calls and asks why I dropped a family add on into the system without FAO proof. I tell him I'll be right back to fix it. I sigh and turn around.

I arrive at a dream representation of our corporate office. Someone wants to cancel their membership, but their only proof of move is photos of their new apartment. I try to tell them how it won't work, but I just keep complementing the furniture in the photos.

I'm riding my bicycle, talking to Matt Custer on a cell phone, when Mike Dalton stops his car right in front of me and I slam into his bumper. I hear him wailing with laughter in the cab, and I amble over to the window to glare at him while Matt talks away.

DREAM, 1/6/07

I owed someone $365. For some reason, I had spent all my money and only had a little more than $100 to my name. I was frantically searching for an ATM that would let me overdraw my account. I understood that no one should see me because some thugs wanted their $365, and everyone was looking for me. I even encounter my Mom and ask to borrow the money, but she refuses. Finally I am kidnapped by the thugs, and spend a great deal of time pleading with them not to kill me. They stare at the road ahead, not caring, and make it apparent that they are taking me to their clown friend's house so the clown can kill me. Suddenly I am in my own car. They are chasing me. I turn through the bottoms and through corn fields and throw it in park by a house. I leap out and magically pass right through the side of the house so that I can slide under this person's dresser. I realize that I have chosen the house of the clown, and there is a gun underneath the dresser.

DREAM, 1/7/07

Apocalyptic rays of radiation have taken to baking the earth in periods of three doses for a duration of about one minute each, every ten or fifteen minutes. Civilization can't figure out how to stop it, but I somehow figure out that the floor mats from the floorboard of your car can block them from harming your body. I curl up in a floorboard, caution others to do the same, and wrestle with floor mats that just won't cover every inch of me. The next sun blast comes, and small triangles of my skin are singed. After the three blasts, I emerge with my floor mats and continue my quest to warn others. I enter my grandparents' house to warn them, but they aren't there.

DREAM, night before 1/8/07

This was a long, involved dream, but I can only remember a bit of it. There were snakes advancing all around me at the Hippy Shack property. I was squirting them with a high powered hose, but this just seemed to attract them. Around us were the rotting skins of every reptile we had slain there, still lying in the places where they met their deaths. This may have been why the live snakes were so pissed at me.

DREAM, last night, 1/9/07

Someone is putting in a community pool at a busy intersection. It has lots of bells and whistles, such as gigantic hoops through which foam footballs could be thrown. People are milling about in the water, giving the hoops yearning glances. But, alas, they cannot use them because the footballs would fly into speeding traffic.

Then my mother and my sister are walking ahead of me down a sidewalk. I know we're someplace around Interstate 40, and cars are zooming past. There's a notion of stress. Mom's wearing a coat. Brooke is wearing a sleeveless black shell. I look down and see that I am wearing a black tee. I wonder why she and I are constantly hot.

Then I'm in my old bedroom at home and Mom is yelling at me because it's messy. She's Mom, but she's really Lori. She refuses to let me clean. She has apparently given me all the chances she's going to give me to clean it on my own. She's picking up great fistfuls of clothing and I'm noticing that most of what she has in her hands are long-lost favorite shirts. She decides that I also can't wash towels or whites. She takes a big box of my CD's. I plead with her not to. She says that each time she has to pick something up after me she's going to take another CD. She starts writing the stats on The Board, which is just like The Board at work, with unit numbers, percentages, and meticulous details of Mom's CD acquisition. I think, "Great, a peppermint bitch at work, and a peppermint bitch at home." She stops short of giving herself a goal. I realize that she can't calculate any percentages unless she goals herself, so I start to suggest it. Before I can say anything, she adds a big $100 to the board. "I'd like to shoot for getting $100-worth of your used CD's." She smiles, caps the marker, and stares me down. I am furious, but I have to swallow it. I think, "Just do like you do at work. Just smile and swallow the hate." She leaves and closes the door. I look around. I certainly am glad that the cleaning's done.

DREAM 1/13/07

I am spending the night with my grandparents in Covington. Dan has come along, but he has brought one of his friends, too. I am trying to go to bed when I discover that they are in bed together. I pull the covers back to climb in and find them in an embrace. Dan yanks the covers out of my hand and seems really angry with me. At first I am jealous, but then I think, "What's the point of trying to save the relationship if he's gay?" They cuddle as I put my things into the bedroom I normally sleep in. D-aw comes in and makes a derogatory remark about Dan's friend's hair. Then it's morning and Dan and his buddy are showering together. Dan comes out and he has cut his ponytail off. At first it looks awful. As I am making up my bed I can't stop discovering pillow shams that are supposed to fit into the pillow display equation. The more pillow shams I find, the further out the pillows protrude from the headboard. Then the headboard (and entire bed) has been scooted away from the wall.There's a big hole that the headboard had been covering, and it looks into a big empty house. A frumpy woman sits in a chair, with no other furnishings, in a pink housecoat as we all gawk. "There's someone there!" I remark. D-aw and her friends crowd around. Mom and Dad are there. "There's nothing in the house," I say in my snottiest Ew-what-a-weirdo voice. Someone chimes in with, "Yeah, she doesn't do much business." That's when I notice a fellow coming out of a warehouse door wearing a yellow hard hat. Then the woman is suddenly at the window. She waves and smiles like the zombie from Evil Dead. "Sorry," I mutter, and start to replace the headboard. "No, it's all right. I get so lonely here!" She surveys my room and suddenly I'm the only one in it. "What are you, a hotel decorator?" She asks with a snide laugh. "It's my grandmother's house," I reply dryly. Then everyone is back and one of D-aw's friends is telling her that someone lied when they said her house wasn't connected to anything, and that someone should have caulked around that hole. Then I find myself in that room, for some reason, and understand that I am supposed to be staying there. I balk at the thought of sleeping in a hotel bed. I imagine sliding between the covers and cringe. Dan peeks in and a strand of hair falls to his chin and suddenly he looks hot. I don't want any part of him, though, so I don't mention it. I peek in and see the view into my grandmother's house. Then a bus is there to pick me up, and I'm running around gathering my things. I run into the casino where Michi is waiting for me to go on stage to collect our royalty checks. Mine is $95,000. We walk back through the casino and I plop my things onto a table to fit them in my bag so I can get on that bus. People keep slinking past and snatching things and I have to wrestle my stuff out of their hands. Some guy is fretting, walking around looking for the chips he lost. I find them. But they are pieces of metal in a key box. I know they're important but I don't know why. Michi's eyes light up. "Give me those!" I hand them over. "What are you going to do with them?" I am confused. They can't be worth more than $95,000! Then the bus is beeping at me, so I run. I get outside, slide open the door to a van, and suddenly realize why I should have hurried. There are kids filling every imaginable seat. To ride, I'd literally have to sit on children. "One sec while I grab my bottle of water!" I shout, and head into another house. While searching for my water bottle I realize that Mom and Dad snuck out sometime during the night to go visit their friends in Middleton. When I finally come back out the van is pulling in, as if they'd left, thought better of it, and reluctantly returned to collect me.

DREAM 1/15/07

I dreamt that I pick up a large, light brown leather bag off a shelf. It's only $20. I remember at some point a woman tried to sell me one, saying that they would be huge and expensive later, but I had ignored her. This bag was ginormous, and hung down past my knees. In it I could fit my regular purse, my lunch, and my workout gear. I went to try on some clothing and ended up leaving with some unpurchased clothing in my bag.

D-aw unwraps a gift from me. It is a perfume that Mom introduced me to. It's spicy and unusual. (Mom only wears patchouli oil.) "If you don't like it, let me know and I'll exchange it." D-aw sniffs it. "I hate it," she replies. (D-aw only wears Estee Lauder Beautiful.) I let her smell my Jessica McClintock. "This smells like honeysuckles," I say. She sniffs it and looks bored. I let her smell my Clinique Happy Heart. "Do you like this?" She sniffs. "I love that," she says, and I frolic back to the store with the perfume she hates to make an exchange. At the counter I notice a white ruler on which my name is written, noting that I had taken clothing to try on and hadn't returned with it. I continued my transaction nervously, hoping that the clerk wouldn't remember me.

I needed to accessorize my new look with the oversized leather bag. There was a jewelry store named Journeys that I needed to find. I checked the mall map. I was pretty close. I had come into that mall entrance before and seen it there, with it's shiny silver chains and gaudy silver pendants hanging everywhere. I walked through the jewelry and looked for big beads and huge pendants. I grabbed a silver chain with crosses on each end and threw it around my neck like a scarf. I walked past several mirrors and studied how awful it looked with my outfit before flinging it onto the wrong rack.

I was running down a gravel road. Someone was with me that I was trying to keep pace with, but I wanted to go a lot faster than they did. It was padded gravel. Mom and Dad were driving around, participating in dramatic shenanigans with Jackie. I enter a house, and the environment is hostile.

Someone is shooting fireworks.


theogeo said...

You have the most fucked up dreams, I swear. Thank you for saving these and posting them!

a peppermint bitch at work, and a peppermint bitch at home.

That line cracked me up.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, and I'm really not sure what the hell it means. What the hell does a dream "peppermint bitch" symbolize, exactly?

theogeo said...

Mmmm, sweet, sticky and refreshing?

No clue.

sarah saint said...

Peppermint bitch...

Superficially sweet but with a cool on the inside?

sarah saint said...

Only with no surplus "a".