Ribbited for your pleasure

I'm in my old house and there are bugs all over the place. (Lindsey, brace yourself.) Maevis is walking around somewhere and while I'm on my knees looking under the bed I think I feel her lick my heel. Turns out a spider with a full tick-like abdomen has just bitten me. Nothing happens, but I take a cup and trap it and another spider crawling around in my sheets. On my sister's bed are a couple of frogs the color of fresh green beans. I catch one of them in a plastic container and hold the lid on because I don't want to suffocate it.

As I walk downstairs to the front door, the frog becomes irritated and turns a vivid electric blue. I know he's poisonous. I can feel the heat rising from him and I'm afraid of being burned. I open the door and let him go in the pouring rain.

My entire family watches this from the living room and my mother stands up to make an announcement. She tells me I have to go to church tomorrow morning. I tell her to fuck off. She begs me. I tell her I'm 25 and I can make those decisions for myself. I walk to the bathroom to fix my makeup, nonchalant and unaffected by her opinion, still in awe of the frog.

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