I keep dreaming that I've had sex with someone other than Craig and now have to tell him what I've done. This no doubt comes from the terrible experience of having betrayed a couple of boyfriends when I was slightly younger, slightly dumber, and providing one part of two in immature relationships.
In these dreams, I agonize over hurting Craig because my dream self wants more than anything to be her best self for such a joyful, unconditionally kind man. I get a sense of longing to get back to my sleeping self, who would rather eat a bucket of flaming needles over whole wheat pasta than stay stuck reliving this particular past.
I wake up with a certain ex-boyfriend on my mind, feeling angry that he dare think himself pure enough to punish me the way he did in November. Clearly, we pay our own debts when we hurt someone. Hope that fits in his pocket, but I doubt there's room with such a huge ego taking up so much space.